Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Rongxian - Jack's Town

Today we made the very long trek to Rongxian (Rong County, Guangxi). Its about 3.5 hours one way. Craig, Jack and I along with the Mansen family piled into a minivan with two drivers and Mandy. Jack was terrific in the car. He slept for most of the ride. Our plan was to drive through the city to get a feel for where the kids lived. As we were arriving into the city Mandy told us she was going to call the social welfare institute where Jack lived to see if they would let us inside. We had already been told twice this was not possible, however, when she called they invited us to use the bathroom facilities. I guess this is code for "we can let you in because its urgent." Craig and I had not prepared for this possibility or for the rest of the afternoon. At the gates of the SWI Jack obviously knew where he was and was tugging to go inside. Craig and I both felt that he should not go back inside. We were very uncomfortable with the situation because his caregivers came outside. We felt like we had made the transition for him and now we were going backward. Because Mandy had said we needed to use the bathroom I know felt obligated to go. I left Craig out front with Jack. This picture above is where they waited (at the gate to the SWI).


Here is the step where babies are left according to the orphanage director. A very nice woman who I am not sure of her role with the SWI showed us inside to the bathroom. Karyn, Olivia, Fran (Karyn's mother), Mandy and I took turns going to the bathroom. We were in the administrative area and it look fairly clean and well maintained. The woman (I hate calling her that) answered some questions I had about Jack. She said no one had ever tried to adopt him before. I had wondered about that. Meaning why did they wait until a year after his surgery to allow him to be considered for adoption. I have come to believe the orphanage director was in ready to part with Jack. They also told us our donation to the SWI will help pay for the care of children with very serious special needs who still live there such as brain damage and missing limbs. Then, the woman spoke to Mandy for awhile in Chinese. Mandy told me that she was saying how grateful they were that Craig and I were adopting Jack. She could see that we love him very much. She also asked Mandy to make sure we help him get better. I told Mandy to tell her about Shriners and how good the doctors are there. When Mandy told her see started to cry and smile. She grabbed my hand and said thank you in Chinese over and over.



As things go in China, the driver's needed a lunch break. We were sent to a temple in Rongxian that I actually listed on the blog several months ago (irony). As we were buying the tickets Jack got very animated. He insisted on being put down and walking. He headed off dragging Craig on a mission. He beelined down a street and tried going in a door. Craig picked him up and brought him back to the park. As we were going in the woman at the ticket counter got very happy and said hi to Jack by calling him "Nong-ge" (sounds like Long-gah). I thought that was odd, but that maybe the orphanage director had mentioned it. After we explored for a few minutes, I sat down at a little bench with Jack. An older woman came right up and sat down next to me. We've had alot of staring but no one has approached us like this in China. Then the woman called to Jack, "Nong-ge" and put her hands out to hold him. I tried to tell her no, but she kept trying. Then a middle aged man came over and started putting his arms out too. It sound to me like he was saying "BaBa" which is father. I got very, very uncomfortable and Jack started to cry to go to the man. Jack started kicking and Craig hurried over. We got Jack and headed out to the park entrance quickly. We told Mandy and she said they weren't SWI employees, but I really thought they must be. We got Jack calmed down by giving him some food the SWI staff provided.

After he ate, we walked around a bit more with Mandy. An employee of the park came up to Mandy and told her that Jack came to the park three times a day with a man who live down the street. We were floored! This is Jack's turf. Things started to make sense. The people who knew him must have been part of his foster family. I took as many pictures of every part of the park as I could. This was no longer a break for the driver's lunch, but an opportunity to capture some of Jack's life before us. When left about twenty people had gathered around to wave good-bye to Jack. They were all calling "Nong-ge" and some were crying. Craig and I were completely overwhelmed. Fortunately, Karyn's husband Andy got some of it on video.

Below are pictures of the different places around the park.





5 comments:

Susan said...

My heart is overflowing! What a wonderful opportunity for you, for Jack and for his loving friends to see him in your care and to wish him farewell. It sounds like the highlight of your trip -those photos and your telling of this story will be a treasure for Jack all his life. As you can tell from his blog, your son here is doing very well. We will miss him when you come back.

Treff said...

What an extraordinary experience. You both must have been emotionally drained. It's so great that you pushed to go to Rongxian. I can't imagine seeing the "special step". I am very proud of both of you. Have a great couple of days in Guangzhou.

Love, Daddy/Treff/Grampie

Caroline said...

It was emotional beyond what I could ever put into words. We were scared, anxious and eventually at peace. Jack was also drained by it. What I didn't write in the main post was that he cried for 45 minutes that night when we tried to put him to bed. I think it was a lot for a little boy to reconcile.

He has been so strong through this whole process. He is just amazing.

Caroline

Susan said...

Dear Mom and Dad and Jack,
This is Hunter. Instead of pushing the old man out of the way, you should have asked what his name was and why he was trying to hug Jack. Bye Mom and Dad. I love you.

Caroline said...

Hi Hunter,

I wish it could have been that easy, but I didn't have anyone to help me speak Cantonese to him. Sometimes after something happens you can look back and say you wish you had done something different. This might be a time like that.

Mommy